If you are attending a Buddhist wake and are unsure what is expected, these simple guidelines will help you pay your respects with sincerity. When in doubt, quiet respect is always appropriate.
What to wear
Dress modestly in dull or dark colours — black, white, grey or muted tones. Avoid bright or festive colours, especially red, and keep clothing simple and covered.
Paying respects
On arrival, it is customary to offer incense to the deceased as a sign of respect. Approach the altar, bow, and place the incense in the urn. The family will usually guide you if you are unsure.
Condolence money (白金)
It is common in Singapore to give condolence money, known as 白金 (“white gold”), in a white envelope to help the family with funeral expenses. Hand it to the family or place it at the designated table. The gesture matters more than the amount.
General conduct
- Keep your voice low and your phone silent
- It is fine to stay briefly — the family understands
- Vegetarian refreshments are often served; it is polite to partake
- You need not take part in the chanting, but standing respectfully during prayers is appreciated
Families arranging a wake often field these questions from guests — if that is you, our team is happy to advise. See also what to expect at the wake.
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